RANKED: The Top Ten Moar Animals! (Nudibranch Edition!)!

Theme: The Mollusk - Ween

It's that time of year again: Tuesday.

Spanish Shawl Nudibranch

Nudibranchs are psychedelic-looking sea-slugs that eat small cnidarians, absorb their stinging nematocysts, and repurpose them for their own defence against larger predators, sort of like you with donuts, minus the last part. The Spanish shawl one is purple and orange, and kind of looks like Sanic the Hedge Hog OC.

Blue Sea Dragon Nudibranch

The blue sea dragon is also a nudibranch, despite looking nothing like the Spanish shawl. This is a recurring theme with nudibranchs, which come in many shapes and sizes, from four millimeters to 23 inches long, according to the summary of the first result on Bing. They are also found all around the world where there are oceans. Nudibranchs can't swim for shit and simply drift where the tide takes them.

Anna's Chromodoris (Nudibranch)

This one is blue and yellow. The orange things on the front are rhinophores, while those on the back are gills, or vice versa; idk.

This one

Found off Dahab in the Red Sea, this one looks really cool. IDK what it's called though.

Opalescent Nudibranch

This one has perhaps the coolest name of any animal. I want to use "opalescent" more in conversation, but I'm not sure how. Enter the opalescent nudibranch; problem solved.

Green one

Some nudibranchs can photosynthesise. Note that this is in stark contrast to you, who can't do anything right.

Blue Velvet Nudibranch

No doubt named for David Lunch's kino of the same name, the Blue Velvet (1986) nudibranch also appears to be impossible to photograph in focus. I went through like three pictures of this thing on Bing Dot Com Image Search and it's a point of principle I never click a fourth.

Hopkin's Rose Nudibranch

This one makes the cut in part because it doesn't even look like a sea slug at all, looking more like an anemone unless you catch it at the right angle to spot the rhinophores. Hopkin must have been so stoked to coin this rose, holy shit bro.

Variable Neon

This lil bro kind of reminds me of the dragon on the Welsh flag, which is by far the best flag and prompts the question: why don't more flags have cool dragons on them instead of lame blank slabs of colour like some bullshit you'd go see in the Tate Modern?

Vexillology is a solved game, you can all go home.

Cole's Nudibranch

All nudibranchs are hermaphroditic. Some have been known to eat one another. Most live in shallower waters but deep sea ones have been known. I hope you've learned something today, because you sure haven't reading my takes on B movies and shooting whipped cream directly down your gullet.