Friday, 20 October 2017

UNHINGED is KNHO!

Many and varied are the slasher flicks that thick-rimmed-glasses-bedecked bloggers will claim are the great overlooked classics of the genre. Some will cite The Initiation, with its apparently hilarious penile costumes. Others will proclaim the impeccable gore effects of The Prowler/Rosemary's Killer, or the masterful twist ending of Happy Birthday to Me. But they are all objectively wrong, because the greatest slasherkino you've never heard of unless you are a virgin at 47 is Don Gronquist's 1982 masterstroke Unhinged.

Unironically kinography

What makes Unhinged kino is the same thing that makes Kwaidan kino: it is so slow and boring that when something finally happens it's twenty times as shocking because the film had lulled you into near-sleep. I mean this entirely seriously: the film is not le-so-bad-it's-good in the usual sense. Rather, it is so bad it's actually really good.

Unhinged is mostly known for being one of the infamous video nasties banned by the risible joke of a country known as the UK. There's a fair amount of gore but, let's be honest, it looks faker than a Kardashian and in any case is no worse than most Friday the 13ths. I wish someone would ban the UK.

The inspiration of Psycho and The Shining are evident throughout, and I can only assume 90% of the budget went on the helicopter shots of the protagonists driving endlessly through woods. This was a good decision because it lends the picture a ton of style and sets it apart from the other micro-budgeters of its day. The lack of funds to go around also keeps the action limited to a couple of locations, which play perfectly on the combination of claustrophobia and isolation you experience when stuck in a creepy old house in the woods in the middle of nowhere.

Since almost nothing happens in the filmographeme, it would be impossible to say much more without spoilers, so I will leave you with this demonstration of the masterful artistry of the much underappreciated Gronquist, who in the Berenstein world is regarded in the pantheon of greats.

Don Gronquist made this shot scary 8 years before David Lynch.

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