Troma is great and slasher movies are great, so how great must a Troma slasher movie be? Well, the director's name is Herb Freed, perhaps in honour of 4/20. The killer stabs someone with a football-on-a-sword, for no fucking reason. And it features one of my favourite, and the stupidest, kills of all time.
So Graduation Day opens with a runner at a high school sporting event. She wins her race but keels over at the finish line. The film then cuts back and forth between her boyfriend cradling her dead body and the crowd watching about fifty billion times, perhaps because the editor had freed some herb that morning. We're then introduced to the runner's sister and Final Girl, who's returned home from the Navy just in time for Graduation Day, even though she doesn't go to school and her deceased sister presumably isn't graduating anymore.
The plot involves someone killing off members of the sports team, prefiguring all-time classic Night of the Dribbler, which is a real movie. Who is the killer? Could it be the coach who pushes his athletes to the limit? The principal who's boinking his secretary? Linnea Quigley? Yes, Linnea Quigley is in this movie, replacing some other actress who appears in early scenes they never bothered to reshoot. Or could it be...roller disco?
Despite being a roller disco, this scene revolves around a band who wear fedoras and makeup and sing interminably about "The Gangster Rock". The whole scene seems like an attempt to one-up the flamboyant gayness of Prom Night, and it almost comes close.
The saddest thing about this movie is that the killer barely gets to do his own shtick at all before being discovered. He wears a fencing mask and carries a sword, but we only really see him once, carving up a couple of victims outside the roller disco. He hops out from some trees and does this hilarious little dance where he hops from one foot to the other before charging after his prospective mark. I think this guy and Prom Night guy should have a movie of their own, like Freddy Vs Jason.
But the real high point of Graduation Day is a kill so dumb it makes sitting through all seven and a half minutes of "Gangster Rock" seem worth it. One of the last surviving members of the track team, seemingly oblivious to both the murders and the fact it's Graduation Day, goes out by himself to practise his pole vault. The pole hits the floor and we hear a scream, as it's revealed that he's pole vaulted onto a bed of spikes:
I love this kill so much I want it to be in every horror movie, even the classy ones like The Shining. How did the killer know this guy would be here on this of all days, and that no one else would be? Where did he get the spikes? Maybe he didn't know, and just put spikes everywhere he thought the team were likely to go: their lockers, the showers, even the track itself. What's even better about this scene is that it comes out of nowhere and is never remarked upon. Ah, Graduation Day killer, you were taken from us too soon.
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| Gaze into the armpit of terror. |
So Graduation Day opens with a runner at a high school sporting event. She wins her race but keels over at the finish line. The film then cuts back and forth between her boyfriend cradling her dead body and the crowd watching about fifty billion times, perhaps because the editor had freed some herb that morning. We're then introduced to the runner's sister and Final Girl, who's returned home from the Navy just in time for Graduation Day, even though she doesn't go to school and her deceased sister presumably isn't graduating anymore.
The plot involves someone killing off members of the sports team, prefiguring all-time classic Night of the Dribbler, which is a real movie. Who is the killer? Could it be the coach who pushes his athletes to the limit? The principal who's boinking his secretary? Linnea Quigley? Yes, Linnea Quigley is in this movie, replacing some other actress who appears in early scenes they never bothered to reshoot. Or could it be...roller disco?
mfw no roller disco at my graduation: :{
Despite being a roller disco, this scene revolves around a band who wear fedoras and makeup and sing interminably about "The Gangster Rock". The whole scene seems like an attempt to one-up the flamboyant gayness of Prom Night, and it almost comes close.
The saddest thing about this movie is that the killer barely gets to do his own shtick at all before being discovered. He wears a fencing mask and carries a sword, but we only really see him once, carving up a couple of victims outside the roller disco. He hops out from some trees and does this hilarious little dance where he hops from one foot to the other before charging after his prospective mark. I think this guy and Prom Night guy should have a movie of their own, like Freddy Vs Jason.
 |
| come back I want to sword you |
But the real high point of Graduation Day is a kill so dumb it makes sitting through all seven and a half minutes of "Gangster Rock" seem worth it. One of the last surviving members of the track team, seemingly oblivious to both the murders and the fact it's Graduation Day, goes out by himself to practise his pole vault. The pole hits the floor and we hear a scream, as it's revealed that he's pole vaulted onto a bed of spikes:
 |
| Right in the knee. |
I love this kill so much I want it to be in every horror movie, even the classy ones like The Shining. How did the killer know this guy would be here on this of all days, and that no one else would be? Where did he get the spikes? Maybe he didn't know, and just put spikes everywhere he thought the team were likely to go: their lockers, the showers, even the track itself. What's even better about this scene is that it comes out of nowhere and is never remarked upon. Ah, Graduation Day killer, you were taken from us too soon.
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