Today is absolutely no one's favourite holiday, Valentine's Day!!!! This is a day for all the single losers* like myself to contemplate suicide!!!!!
Inexplicable though it may seem, I once had a girlfriend, and she was the best girlfriend ever. We laughed together, travelled together, and made fun of TV shows together. We taught each other so much about life, love, and growing up.
Then she left me because I "suck" (source), and I became a bastard. Coincidence????????{()}
So now I wander the streets on Valentine's Day, looking for happy, smiling, laughing couples to disdain. Why shouldn't I be happy? Don't I deserve love too? No? Because I'm an evil piece of shit who laughs at other people's misfortune and makes fun of everyone? I doant think that's very fair >:(
Here's what we can do to ruin this special day for happy, loving couples: if you have a friend who's going on a date with their long-term significant other (SOS), offer to drive them. "You don't want to get rained upon, and thus be wet, do you?" you'll say. Then when you've got them in the car, drive them deep into the woods and leave them.
I expect a Nobel Prize for this one.
*All the Single Losers is my new single and music video. Look for it on Bastard Records.
Inexplicable though it may seem, I once had a girlfriend, and she was the best girlfriend ever. We laughed together, travelled together, and made fun of TV shows together. We taught each other so much about life, love, and growing up.
Then she left me because I "suck" (source), and I became a bastard. Coincidence????????{()}
So now I wander the streets on Valentine's Day, looking for happy, smiling, laughing couples to disdain. Why shouldn't I be happy? Don't I deserve love too? No? Because I'm an evil piece of shit who laughs at other people's misfortune and makes fun of everyone? I doant think that's very fair >:(
Here's what we can do to ruin this special day for happy, loving couples: if you have a friend who's going on a date with their long-term significant other (SOS), offer to drive them. "You don't want to get rained upon, and thus be wet, do you?" you'll say. Then when you've got them in the car, drive them deep into the woods and leave them.
I expect a Nobel Prize for this one.
*All the Single Losers is my new single and music video. Look for it on Bastard Records.
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