Greatest Movie of All Time of the Week: Event Horizon!

You remember that, right?

I recall being baffled at the late Roger Ebert's dismissive review of this cult classic in which he bemoaned its mining of the unknown in the form of the final frontier as expressing an unwarranted fear of science and discovery. You could make the same critique of Frankenstein or Jurassic Park, but Ebert didn't, which suggests to me his real beef with the movie was that it unnerved him, which apparently it did for quite a number of contemporary viewers (Ebert was always like this, was a good writer but a terrible critic, and was skewered like the fat pig he was by Vincent Gallo, who memorably said he had the "physique of a slave trader". Don't feel bad for the porcine columnist; he was a piece of shit who doxed the lead actress from Friday the 13th to his sycophantic dogs because he didn't like the movie. Rot in hell, piggy).

Roger Ebert learning why we don't do that, forever (colourised).

Anyway, I bring this up because I always just found this flick cool and not particularly disturbing, but you may react differently. The good ship Event Horizon (1997) disappeared some years ago and has now reappeared minus the crew. Lovecraftesquely disturbed scientist Dr Weir (Sam Neil) is despatched with a crew of military toughs to investigate what happened, only to find himself aboard a haunted house in space.

Neil personally requested his arm patch display the aboriginal grievance politics flag in place of the Union Jack. Naturally, the symbolism of a meddling libcuck being the one to unleash horrors beyond his comprehension flew way over his head.

Naturally, everyone starts to go craaazy out in space, reminding many reviewers of The Shining but, given the timing, reminding me more of Sphere, which came out the following year and was basically this movie underwater. Sphere is worth a spin, but never picked up the cult following that this one did, perhaps because the Event Horizon itself boasts the coolest set design in movies. Everything in it is so Gothicmaxxed that redditors to this day insist it's in the boopin snootin Warhammer 40k uuuniveeerse, but you can hardly blame a production for seizing on an aesthetic that has never once gone out of style.

"Do you think we have enough spikes and crosses?"
"No"
- set designer Joseph Bennett to director Paul W.S. Anderson (or vice versa)

From the casting of porn stars and amputees for the blood orgy scene to the reams of bonus gore footage found decaying in a Romanian salt mine, everything about this production has been recited more times online than a videogame creepypasta. When was the last time anyone talked about astroturfed hipster horror like The Babadook? Anyone you know ever say "dude, bro, you've got to see it for that scene, bruh"? For a critically derided flop, Event Horizon proved to be the little kino that could.

How'd they get this footage from my crawlspace, is what I want to know.