Theme: Warp Speed Now - Attack
Back when I had time for vidya, it was 2003. Fortunately, that was the year vidya and St*r W*rs peaked with greatest vidya of all time, Star Wars Star Trek Jedi Knight Jedi Academy.
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| POV: you're arriving at the only table that will let you sit with them, and you're me. |
Academy was the third in a series of games featuring Kyle Katarn (?) in the timeline where the heroes of George Lucas's Flash Gordon pastiche actually won instead of the Empire coming back thirty years later with a different name because Jar Jar Abrams' imagination is limited only by the extent of his brilliance, but somehow that's enough. I never read any of the Star Wars Extended Uuuuuuuniverse comics or books because I'd rather eat nails, nor did I play games the first nor second, so IDK who Kyle Katarn is, but by part 3 he's become mentor to your very own custom character. I played as Joseph Merrick in a spooky Bane mask:
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| He's literally me. |
This game gave you the option to pick different powers to develop, but there was no contest: by far the best power was the force choke. If you maxed this out, it let you fling your hapless enemies fifty feet up in the air with a flick of your mouse hand, whence they'd fall to their deaths, screaming piteously. Choking low level goons also made them drop their weapons, which you could then hoover up, rendering them defenceless. Then you could herd them around and bounce on their heads. After beating the game once, I then went back to low-level-goon levels and replayed them this way, making sure not to kill anyone I didn't have to. Then I'd herd them around like the world's most autistic sheepdog. The game never prompted you to do this; I just did it because I'm a retard and I found it funny.
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| Me phoning this ḃḹȱǥ post the fuck in. |
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