The titanoboa was a 40-foot-long snake. The longest snake recorded in modern times was 25 feet. I bet the 40-foot snake could eat the 25-foot snake for breakfast.
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| 100% accurate size chart |
You'd never go swimming in those times, because there were megalodons everywhere. If you think sharks today are scary, you're a pussy. Megalodons were so big they could eat a helicopter. If we had megalodons today we'd have invented planes much earlier, because no one would be stupid enough to take a boat out on the sea. You'd get eaten and killed by the megalodon.
Even if you stayed on land, you'd probably get knocked the fuck out by one of those giant dragonflies or something. If you were really slow, megatherium the giant ground sloth might eat you, although I think it ate tree branches or something but whatever, I bet it would totally kill and eat you.
Nowadays everything's too small, because there's not enough oxygen in the air and the temperature is way too damn low. As a long person, I want to rectify that.
I propose we free up some oxygen by planting more rainforests. To do this, we can clear a couple of cities. No one would miss Warrington, or Milton Keynes. I say bulldoze the lot and pop some rainforests in the ground there.
Then we could pollute more to make global warming happen. This would bring back the conditions for enormous animals. YES/NO?
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