Pat Bastard and the Spurious 5

Now God, stand up for bastards.

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

1982's "The Snowman" is a Cosmic Horror Christmas Kino!

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If your parents weren't disgusting crackheads, you will have grown up watching short animation kino The Snowman at Christmas time. No ...
Friday, 16 December 2016

Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke of the West!

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As you know, Star Wars Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is out now. I have seen the webm of Darth Vader killing people with his laser sword, a...
Tuesday, 8 November 2016

In which I reveal the dankest of my OC

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This is the OC that won the election.
Monday, 5 September 2016

Mad Max Ripoffs: Doomsday

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2008's Doomsday is technically a ripoff of Escape from New York , 28 Days Later , Aliens , and, I guess, King Arthur as well, but I...
Wednesday, 6 July 2016

I Just Wanna Be Your Disco Bitch (Love Theme from Pat Bastard and the Spurious 5)

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For those times when all you want is to be someone's disco bitch. Enjoy: ????
Wednesday, 15 June 2016

The Thing in the Fridge is now a video.

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FILLER! Original here .
Monday, 23 May 2016

The yeti crab looks made up, but isn't.

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Look at this yeti crab with its great big long monkey arms. It looks like a video game boss, not a real thing. However, the yeti cra...
Friday, 6 May 2016

Bring back megafauna.

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The titanoboa was a 40-foot-long snake. The longest snake recorded in modern times was 25 feet. I bet the 40-foot snake could eat the 25-f...
Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Doctor Bastard: now a major You Tube creepypasta reading with a cast of thousands

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Doctor Bastard is now available to make house calls in video format. The original pasta can be found here on this very blogge.
Friday, 15 April 2016

Bastard Role Models: Inky the Octopus

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I hope and trust you've all caught up with the most important story of recent times. No, not Lying Ted Cruz stealing Colorado from The ...
Monday, 4 April 2016

Nightcrawler is a great movie.

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If you haven't watched Nightcrawler , but have watched anything else from the last several years, you should be banned from cinemas bec...
Friday, 1 April 2016

Happy April Fool's Day!

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April Fool's Day is an ancient tradition in which people fuck with one another in the most mean-spirited ways possible. It is like ever...
Friday, 11 March 2016

What ever happened to hitchhikers?

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It seems like a lot of people hitchhiked in old movies and in the 1950s and 60s. Why did this lost enterprise so suddenly vanish from the w...
Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Doctor Bastard

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The first weeks of your therapy went better than expected. You would easily recommend this guy to anybody, unfortunate name withstandin...
Saturday, 13 February 2016

Blunt Force Troma: Tromeo and Juliet!!!

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"Well we found a peanut all right...a peanut of death!" - Cop It's Valentine's Day, and how better to celebrate th...
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Pat Bastard and the Spurious 5
imagine being a siamese twin with hypertrichosis AND progeria
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