Pat Bastard and the Spurious 5

The album cover being a modified detail from Dalí's Slave Market with Disappearing Bust of Voltaire is a return tribute to Dalí, who wa...

There's nothing inside this big pyramid (Memphis, TN). I'm a bastard who likes to travel. I believe it broadens the mind and...

Deadly Blessing stars Ernest Borgnine as an Amish-style cult leader and has a scene where a spider falls into Sharon Stone's mouth. Th...

Everyone knows big eyes are the universal symbol for cuteness. Not everyone knows that JFK was murdered by the world central bank. Thi...

Have you ever wanted to watch a really stupidly well-made movie about a great big giant pig that eats everybody, like Lena Dunham? Well Raz...

Where you're asleep, and you're dreaming about something funny, and you laugh yourself awake, and it's early morning so you...

Yes.

South of Heaven is the best movie ever. Make Your Own Monument Valley: $4.99 at Bastardmart. Like Streets of Fire , South of Heave...

Mad Max  and  The Road Warrior  were among the most important movies of the late 70s and early 80s, a golden age in which the trashy and th...

The joke is: Q. What do you call an angry Penguin? A. A Pengrrruin At first I thought this was a typo, but Penguin jokes would ne...

I was reflecting on the transience of existence ( procrastination ), when I realised it's no longer a lifelong concern, but a day-to-da...

Dr Octagon is a pink-afro'd, green-skinned, skull-faced gynaecologist invented by stark staring batshit loon and genius Kool Keith. The...

Braco , known as the Gazer, is a Croatian man who stares at people. He is way more popular than most of the artists in your music library, ...

A spam caller just called to ask if I was my dad. I told him no, and THE FUCKER ARGUED WITH ME. He said "you SOUND like Mr. Bastard...

Dead End is a 2003 movie starring Ray Wise ( everything ) and Lin Shaye ( everything else ). It's about a family who go to see their r...

Being a fan of horror movies, perhaps as a consequence of an active imagination as a child, you always check the backseat of your car befor...

Ever since the womb, I've hated flying. Flying is when you wait twelve hours to get shoved into less space than a bus, between a great ...