Pat Bastard and the Spurious 5

Because my bl☺g is now over a decade old and I forgot about the anniversary like a husband in a sitcom (but more importantly because I'm...

Tezcatlipoca was the troll god of the Aztecs and would periodically destroy the world, mostly by trolling other gods so hard they deleted f...

Is Goldfinger the best Bondkino? Because I am a gay nerd I ran the numbers and it's pretty much a three-way (snicker) contest between ...

Doctor Bastard is now available to make house calls in video format. The original pasta can be found here on this very blogge.

April Fool's Day is an ancient tradition in which people fuck with one another in the most mean-spirited ways possible. It is like ever...

As you know , I am a fan of Jack the Ripper and associated mythology. I read The Final Solution (which is the one about how the Freemason...

Thought you ran out of good horror movies years ago? Never seen a good found footage movie after The Blair Witch Project ? Under 6 feet tal...

Hello friends! You may not have heard of Pumpkin , because no one has. I've never met someone who's seen Pumpkin , and I think it...

Mad Max  and  The Road Warrior  were among the most important movies of the late 70s and early 80s, a golden age in which the trashy and th...

Lee Ving was the lead singer in Fear. Fear is a band about beer and hating people. Fear is awesome. They have such varied and interesting m...

You're looking for the one who fucked your mom? It's not him. Dave Wyndorf is the guy from Monster Magnet. Monster Magnet is so...

Today is absolutely no one's favourite holiday, Valentine's Day!!!! This is a day for all the single losers* like myself to contemp...

Sun Tzu was an awesome bastard during the "Spring And Autumn Period" of Chinese history, because in China, Summer doesn't hap...

Put this on your play list. Be sure to play it backwards until you can hear my voice. I'll tell you what to do. Anything by Anal ...

Everyone knows Basil Fawlty, the lovable hotel owner who violently beats his staff, locks guests in cupboards, and otherwise lays down the ...

WARNING! This post contains spoilers for several 500-year-old plays. Edmund is the best character in King Lear , a play about a king wh...

Dr Octagon is a pink-afro'd, green-skinned, skull-faced gynaecologist invented by stark staring batshit loon and genius Kool Keith. The...

The strangest thing happened last night. I had just been fired from my job as desk clerk at Mr Potter's nuclear power plant for imperso...

Grey Seer Thanquol's contributions to bastardry are many and varied. Thanquol is a Skaven (rat-man) from the city of Skavenblight, in S...

WARNING: This post contains MASSIVE FUCKING SPOILERS for a show you should DEFINITELY HAVE SEEN by now. Tony Soprano is the gold standard...